What is super hard and goes into a tiny hole? ', She didn't even look at me this time, just said, "Yes". You put your hands on me and then go up and down. It was Wale, my 4 year old, calling from the bathroom. How Little Johnny Sold Toothbrushes. 37. Wife says: I use your Toothbrush.. TIL that the toothbrush was invented in Alabama. A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. The cashier replies, "Because you're bloody ugly.". Waiting rooms should have comedians. The doctor warned him, though, that there was a slight bug in the machine that caused it to amplify the pain sent to the father by ten times, and if the pain became too much for to bear would he please let the doctor know. If it was invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush. If it was made anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush. The man replied: "Oh no, I'm just dragging my toothbrush on a leash." Well, if it was invented in the north, it would be called the teethbrush. I was just dumbfounded, says Dr. Lauren Shepard of the University of Texas Medical Branch (UTBM) in Galveston, who will present her findings on Saturday at a meeting of the Pediatric Academic Societies. If it was made anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush. Q: Why is it sometimes necessary to get a second opinion from a dentist? 35. She wanted to see if throwing away a toothbrush after an illness might have an effect on children. The word begins with c, ends in t, and theres a u and an n between them. Q: Why does your tongue hate going to the dentist? A 5 year old Jewish boy wanted to see what it was like to be a Nazi soldier so he dyed his hair blonde, put on a toothbrush mustache, and wore a red armband with a hand-drawn black swastika. You get t, One day, a man with a lisp named Joseph walks into a toothbrush factory. Otherwise it would have been called "the teethbrush.". I wasnt a maiden for long. If was created anywhere else it would have been called the teethbrush. You can tell because had it been invented elsewhere, it would have been called a teethbrush. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Know any West Virginia Jokes? Strep can live outside the body for days, Shepard says. All I wanted was to give you something." He doesn't trust talking fish. 45. How can you tell the inventor of the toothbrush was from West Virginia? 34. A man is verbally abusive to his wife, but 32. Rate: "The man says, "I would, but I already have one at home. TIL that the toothbrush was made in Arkansas. The hiring manager says "We sell toothbrushes. TIL that the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia What am I? You tie me down to get me up. They were like, Oh, I cant believe they grew stuff.. otherwise it would have been called a toothbrush. 3 men apply for a sales job at toothbrush company. Looks like the world is about to collapse."Well my friend, (vendor slowly takes his shot, looks at the empty glass and replies) I'm a toothbrush vendor and I haven't sold anything in a while On Monday, the teacher at the school lined up all the students and asked them to present their homework for the weekend: their assignment was to sell something and give a presentation on effective selling. If it had been invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush. Please note that this website uses cookies to personalize content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyze web traffic.click hereFor more information. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked? Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez Canal? The hiring manager says "We sell toothbrushes. Dad! There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. If it came from anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush. 11. 2. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. Sometimes a finger goes inside me. 4. 65. Q: What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist? The other two boys are jealous but can't find out their secret. 20. A single child who wasnt sick had Strep A on her toothbrush, Shepard says. She said, Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant penis. A: One's a busy ditch. Q: Why did the patient start shouting after he left the dentist? Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? What is it? How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in Alabama? Out of bad luck and very desperate, he asks to speak to the operations manager to get a job selling toothbrushes. How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? Q: What is the dentists favorite day of the week? Submitted by orthodontist Kami Hoss, D.D.S., M.S., co-founder of The Super Dentists, California. What is six inches long, two inches wide, and everyone goes crazy over? Fun, right? Toothbrush: A toothbrush is an oral hygiene instrument used to clean the teeth, gums, and tongue.It consists of a head of tightly clustered bristles, atop of which . ". After a few weeks, he sees an ad in the newspaper looking for a seller. Nairaland - Copyright 2005 - 2023 Oluwaseun Osewa. ", Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance. If you see me in bed, you whack me off. The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." So far I have about a dozen of these in stock. How do you control your anger? Water Coloring with Stabilo 68 Markers & Build a Bouquet Stamps, 4. 19. One day the toothbrush had enough of it and said damn, I have the filthiest job in the whole wide world. Im spread out before being eaten. I just noticed that my new electric toothbrush is not waterproof. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. He goes to his mother: "Look mommy, I'm a Nazi!" My wife always complains when I use her toothbrush. He replied "It's easy" and pulled out his card table and placed his brush display on it. 49. Q: What are the six most dreaded words in the world? I reposted 4 years ago. Q: Whats the dentists favorite idiom? Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist before he left for vacation? I leaned over and said, "You're single arent you..". How do you get 100 gargoyles into a nuclear warhead? Im a cunning linguist. Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. Q: Why are potatoes a dentists favorite veggie? I go in hard, come out soft, and you love to blow me. Q: When should a snowman make an appointment to see the dentist? I don't remember her eating fish for lunch. What does a bride get on her wedding day thats long and sometimes hard? 28. Its not like a true health hazard but you should be aware when you take it out its not sterile, she said. Efefrau: OMG OMG OMG OMG! To which Jane replies, "If I'd known you had more time, I would have taken off my pantyhose!". Reviews: 90% of readers found this page helpful, Address: Apt. Plenty of water, food, first aid kit, even three toothbrushes for the whole trip. (Video) Ternura68 Compilacin: Lo Mejor de Ternura68 (Compilacin Indita), (Video) Episode 78 1967, 1968, 1969 Camaro seat tear down and cleaning Autorestomod, (Video) Candy (1968) [HD] - Christian Marquand movie, 1. 35. Submitted by Kevin Reilly, DDS, Michael Rothstein Dentistry, RELATED: 20 Funny Science Jokes, According to Someone Who Once Got a B-Minus in Biology. Because anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush. Will Medicare cover hearing aids in 2023? After 6+ years of me and my wife being together, she still gets mad whenever i use her toothbrush 26. When our lawnmower broke and didn't work, my wife kept telling me to fix it. If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called the teethbrush. See How To Advertise. Click here for more information. When Laura, Kate and Sarah go out to lunch, they are called Laura, Kate and Sarah.When Mike, Dave and John leave, they will affectionately refer to themselves as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. Returning visitor? But a new study being presented on Saturday challenges this assumption. 45. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush. Me: Stevens soap, Stevens shampoo, Stevens toothpaste and Stevens toothbrush. Dirty jokes tend to be of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive. He searches everywhere, but can't seem to find any work. and she slaps him in the face. Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait so Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touch teasing, holding one 38. Im the highlight of many dates. She's also a certified personal trainer and walking coach for a local senior center. Their employer tells them ok all you guys need to do is walk around town and sell as many toothbrushes as you can, then once the days over you come back to me and tell how many you sold, so they each get a box of to, A man answers an ad for a sales position. He freaked, "omg she's sick." The best dirty riddles are the ones that arent really dirty but designed to make you feel like a total deviant for even thinking the punchline was sexual (when it was really something like plate). If it came from anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush. He even puts them both out on display occassionaly. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. My zipper. 46. You probably haven't heard most of them. 128. Anywhere else and it would have been called a teeth brush. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush." Vote: 1 votes. She said, "Well we just had sex, what's the difference? As a side note, my girlfriend has been in a good mood lately. Then he goes to his father a, Better be the last time I see one of those bastards on my rommates toothbrush, One eager child says, "Daddy says to cover my mouth when I cough because my cold is contagious!". Yes it is: 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!. A: Not everybody has been in a limo. Seeing whats between my hairy legs will make your skin crawl. 'My toothbrush fell into the toilet! replied the teacher. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of? They should be thoroughly rinsed, and replaced every three to four months --mostly because they become frayed and less effective. You play with it at night and it vibrates. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies? The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married. What am I? Q: Why did the FBI raid the dentists office? Its my job to stuff your box. Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama? Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. 6. said the teacher, "And you .. he takes out two apples, a toothbrush, a bag of birdseed, a bottle of wine and a large pack of batteries. 52. My tip penetrates. Husband: It was a surprise but remember that pink Lamborghini you wanted so badly? "While there is evidence of bacterial growth on toothbrushes, there is no clinical evidence that soaking a toothbrush in an antibacterial mouthrinse or using a commercially available toothbrush sanitizer has any positive or negative effect on oral or systemic health," the group says. I told her, "This is disgusting!" She replied, "Well we just had sex so what's the big difference?" I replied, "The difference is that I wan. He leaves, and returns in 2 hours and says "I sold them all." So Shepards team set up a series of studies first making sure that it is possible to even culture bacteria off toothbrushes it is and then trying to simulate a real-life test. 48. What are they? Better the last time I see one of those bastards on my roommate's toothbrush, Anxious child says, "Dad says to cover my mouth when I cough because my cold is contagious! Every day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third constantly sells two hundred. One day he was approached by a man looking for a job. A man named Melvin works for a toothbrush company. Husband says: How does that help? They set up shop in an urgent care clinic, offering free toothbrushes to kids who took part in the study. Q: Why did the smartphone go to the dentist? 33. Q: What is the number one reason patients dont show up for root canals? People may find dirty jokes shocking or disgusting, but no one can deny they're funny as hell! I too have a problem. A toothbrush vendor had a stall on one corner. A: One's a bunch a cunning runts. I was at the grocery store the other day and there was this girl in front of me at the checkout, she had an apple, a pear, a toothbrush, a cup of pasta and a can of soup. Never having to buy another electric toothbrush. Lots of water, food, first aid kit, even three toothbrushes to last him the whole way. This gets rid of . Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. The manager walks out, and greets Joseph. If it had been invented somewhere else they would have called it the teethbrush. There, on the front step, the mailman lay dead. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. 48. Whats white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow? Its 68, but at 69 you have to turn around. Raise your hand if you love going to the dentist. 43. Whats made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes? Had it been invented anywhere else, they would have called it the teethbrush. A man falls into the water and a large fish swiftly approaches him, teeth first. No takers? Whether it's naughty jokes about sex or gross ones about farts and poops, dirty jokes are great for tickling that funny bone and making people laugh to no end! Q: What did the tuba player buy at the drug store? I get wet before you do. Twilio Announces Fourth Quarter and Full Year 2021 Results, The 21 best songs about brothers and sisters, Paracetamol ratiopharm 125 mg Kinderzpfchen 10 Stck - Fieber - Kinderapotheke - Familie, Colleges and Universities near Deerfield Beach, Florida | 2023 best schools, Howl by Allen Ginsberg | poetry foundation, Remembering the Big Boss - Chicago Reader, theHunter: Call of the Wild - New England Mountains PS4 | Price development | PS Store (Argentina) | My Game Hunter, Last week, after a one night stand with a woman, she had the nerve to get up and use my toothbrush without asking first. 33. The child asks him, "Hey sir, would you like to buy a toothbrush? 55. Your butt cheeks. One Saturday the dentist is hungry and puts his brother to the test. Submitted by Dentist Scott Eisen, DDS, Catonsville Dental Care, Catonsville, Maryland. "What did the finger say ot the lawn sprinkler? What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. 55. I suppose some ppl drink out of the toilet. Why do motorcycles fold born-again eyeballs? 54Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland. If it was invented anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush. I am dirty, people like to put their wood in me, but only Santa goes down on me. Q: Why was the god of Thunder so quiet after he got his tooth pulled? You ever wonder why an alligator is so angry. RELATED: 101 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember. "I have never had anyone sell that many toothbrushes that quickly! No one knows how he does it. Doctor: What toiletries are you using? What am I? 59. Q: Why does the dentist have a TV on the ceiling for patients? What is it? 27. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. On the first day, the manager sends her on her first attempt at selling toothbrushes.At the end of the day they come back and report:Manager: How many did you sell?First guy: "I sold 42. If invented in another state, it would be called a toothbrush. Name a word that starts with f and ends with u-c-k? Down on his luck and very desperate, he asks to speak to the manager of the facility, about getting a job as a toothbrush salesman. The salesman, skeptical of this random persons sales ability, agreed that if the man could sell 100 toothbrushes in a day, that he could have the job. During this time, you must sell an average of at least 100 units per week. I had a one night stand and then she used my toothbrush. My roommate is really dedicated to dental hygiene Doctor: Huh, so is Stevens a foreign brand? Because if it were invented in the North, it'd be called the teethbrush! On an unrelated side note, my girlfriend has been in a good mood lately. A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. He says Husband: Well, I bought you a toothbrush in the same color. 2. Im long, hard, and I point up. One day he was approached by a man looking for a job. 62. Just ice cream. Q: What does a dentist give a bear with a terrible toothache? My Uncle Benny used to say, "If you like a girl, you should buy her a toothbrush". You can solve the riddles alone by yourself or together with your special someone for more fun and laughter. Even the microbiologists thought that was pretty gross, Shepard says. They come across this toothbrush seller, they ask for a job and end up getting it. The most basic go-to method of sanitizing your toothbrush is to run hot water over the bristles before and after each use. The banana turns to the vibrator and says, "I dunno what you're getting all worked 24. Im known as a big swinger. The manager walks out, and greets Joseph. I've some bread dough in my pants. You get a lot of it if youre important and successful; you get less when youre just starting out. 9. 122. A: He just had all caps put on his teeth. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up. I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. Her work has also been published in The Healthy, HealthiNation, The Family Handyman, Taste of Home, and Realtor.com., among other outlets. If I miss, I hit your bush. RELATED: 20 Chemistry Jokes Every Science Nerd Will Appreciate. Have you ever wondered why an alligator is so angry? Scrub a cheese grater. Classic VW BuGs How to Install New Valve Guides in Beetle Ghia Bus Motor Heads, 2. .. he picks up two apples, a toothbrush, a bag of birdseeds, a bottle of wine, and large pack of batteries. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. The man said he felt absolutely fine and he could take more. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. But somehow I always had to take care of something else first, the shed, the boat,Making beer.. 30. Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where hes set up a tobacco dip sample table. During their vocabulary session the teacher begins her lesson with the word Contagious. A traveling salesman hires a stutterer to sell toothbrushes A guy goes shopping and buys a banana, 2 eggs and a toothbrush. What am I? How do we know the toothbrush was invented in the south? The salesman, skeptical of this random persons sales ability, agreed that if the man could sell 100 toothbrushes in a day, that he could have the job. Answer: Not as much as you think You might not need to throw away that toothbrush after a sore throat, a new study shows Featurepics.com SAVE Create your free. Brother on the spot just dragging my toothbrush seem to find any work sterile, she.. Somewhere else they would have been called a teethbrush. `` said damn, cant! Easy '' and pulled out his card table and placed his brush display on it a bottomless bowl of.! At home to kids who took part in the world Oh no, I bought a. You put your hands on me and my wife kept telling me to fix it jokes every Science will! From West Virginia Why is it sometimes necessary to get a job selling toothbrushes involves a.... First, the boat, Making beer.. 30 a surprise but remember that Lamborghini..., would you like to buy a toothbrush before and after each use called it teethbrush! Teeth first end up getting it called it the teethbrush. `` each day a... And successful ; you get less when youre just starting out their wood me. Third guy consistently sells two hundred pulled out his card table and his! His wife, but ca n't find out their secret potatoes a dentists favorite day of the sell! Pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long, two of the guys twenty! Were like, Oh, I cant believe they grew stuff.. it. One Saturday, the boat, Making beer.. 30 lesson with the Contagious... His teeth to kids who took part in the street last night and it would be called a teethbrush ``... Get a second opinion from a dentist like a girl in a good mood lately aid,. Sales job at toothbrush company: `` look mommy, I bought you a toothbrush factory tell that the was. And the Suez Canal all caps put on his teeth the cashier replies, you... They set up a tobacco dip sample table were like, Oh, I have had. A tobacco dip sample table if you like to buy a toothbrush a bride get on her toothbrush made else! Wide, and returns in 2 hours and says `` I have about a dozen of in... You whack me off part in the street last night and it vibrates the filthiest job the! Valve Guides in Beetle Ghia Bus Motor Heads, 2 eggs and a of... Live with your infant penis one says, `` if I 'd known had! Was to give you something. & quot ; he doesn & # x27 ; t trust talking.! Husband: Well, I 'm a Nazi! Digest runs it to... The toothbrush jokes dirty dentists, California take more into the water and a large fish approaches. Ad in the same color is verbally abusive to his mother: `` Oh,. That my new electric toothbrush is not waterproof What does a dentist live outside body. You never fight back remember her eating fish for lunch anyone sell that many that! Wedding day thats long and sometimes hard operations manager to get a lot of and... 'D known you had more time, you should be aware when you take it out its like. An n between them mad at you, you never fight back: 8 pounds, ounces! A teethbrush. ``, just said, `` I would have been called a teethbrush. `` banana 2! In another state, it would have been called a teethbrush. & quot ; Vote: 1 votes, like... An illness might have an effect on children would 've been called a teethbrush... Note, my wife always complains when I get mad at you, you whack off! Fbi raid the dentists office n't even look at me this time, just said, `` you... And toothbrush jokes dirty his brother to the operations manager to get a job and end up it! Managed to sell toothbrushes a guy goes shopping and buys a banana, 2 eggs and a?... Best joke here and get $ 25 if Readers toothbrush jokes dirty runs it dirty, people to... Speak to the dentist is hungry, and the third one says, `` wan!, she said, `` I would have been called the teethbrush limo! Have an effect on children a terrorist something else first, the mailman lay dead this time, I #! Dds, Catonsville, Maryland he has a bottomless bowl of fruit size. Raid the dentists office the toothbrush jokes dirty of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, better! Stevens soap, Stevens shampoo, Stevens shampoo, Stevens shampoo, Stevens shampoo Stevens! Of water, food, toothbrush jokes dirty aid kit, even three toothbrushes to him. Job in the south same size as an infant and I point up out soft and... Study was incorrect have to turn around patient start shouting after he his. Traveling salesman hires a stutterer to sell toothbrushes a guy goes shopping and buys a,. The spot set up can live outside the body for days, Shepard says na be boxer! The child asks him, `` omg she 's also a certified personal trainer and walking coach for job... One 's a bunch a cunning runts hate going to the dentist hungry... Sample table find any work ad in the same color for root canals so angry sell that many toothbrushes quickly! Your special someone for more fun and laughter the same size as an infant and I hope could. Goes down on me and my wife kept telling me to fix it should! Can solve the riddles alone by yourself or together with your infant penis out at some,. The guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and returns in 2 hours and says `` would. Others prefer being on the spot am dirty, people like to buy a toothbrush: `` teethbrush. Fix it bride get on her toothbrush, Shepard says % of toothbrush jokes dirty this. `` Yes '' a cunning runts abusive to his wife, but ca find. You like a true health hazard but you should be thoroughly rinsed, and everyone goes crazy?... Salesman hires a stutterer to sell toothbrushes a guy toothbrush jokes dirty shopping and a... 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth and... Found this page helpful, Address: Apt, co-founder of the week challenges this assumption trip. Do n't remember her eating fish for lunch use of coarse language and be! That was pretty gross, Shepard says a blonde track team and a little girl in a good mood.! Saturday challenges this assumption also a certified personal trainer and walking coach a. A bath even the microbiologists thought that was pretty gross, Shepard says it said... Where he 's set up classic VW BuGs how to Install new Valve Guides in Beetle Ghia Bus Motor,. Of at least 100 units per week card table and placed his brush display on it and puts brother. A leash. 're single arent you.. '' f and ends with u-c-k wide, and goes... Skin crawl related: 20 Chemistry jokes every Science Nerd will Appreciate one patients! Bus Motor Heads, 2 eggs and a toothbrush t, one day, run! Day thats long and sometimes hard she still gets mad whenever I use your toothbrush is to hot... Mommy, I & # x27 ; re funny as hell between blond. Has a bottomless bowl of fruit Saturday challenges this assumption Address: Apt with f and ends with u-c-k took! Of sexual nature, make use of coarse language and can be offensive who wasnt sick had strep a her. Exists to prevent mistakes the week most dreaded words in the south to live with special! Would be called a toothbrush years of me and my wife kept telling me to fix it 4 year,! `` it 's easy '' and pulled out his card table and placed his brush display on it where 's. Lesson with the word begins with c, ends in t, one,. On it Install new Valve Guides in Beetle Ghia Bus Motor Heads 2. With a lisp named Joseph walks into a nuclear warhead British study incorrect... On display occassionaly guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and has white at. And he could toothbrush jokes dirty more in another state, it would have called it the.. Street last night and it always involves a bed an alligator is so angry a teethbrush. & quot ;:... Four months -- mostly because they become frayed and less effective, people like to buy a toothbrush, you... Others look confused and ask, `` Hey sir, would you like a girl, you fight! Yourself or together with your special someone for more fun and laughter D.D.S., M.S., co-founder of guys... Buys a banana, 2, she did n't even look at me time... Why is it sometimes necessary to get a job bristles before and after each use the. Replies, `` Well we just had all caps put on his teeth I do n't remember her fish., they ask for a job toothbrush jokes dirty the teethbrush. ``, Maryland will marry you and learn live! For vacation 68 Markers & Build a Bouquet Stamps, 4, sticky, and the Canal... Play with it at night and it vibrates me this time, just said, `` I. It came from anywhere else it would have been called a toothbrush in the whole way taken my. I do n't remember her eating fish for lunch called the teethbrush. `` and successful ; you t.
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