If they were able to move on and replace you, while youre still trying to catch a breath, how could they possibly have cared as deeply about you as theyd claimed? Stay Calm If you do find yourself reacting to a narcissists flaunting, it is important to stay calm. This is trauma bonding. If I were a betting man, I would bet that at one point or another the narcissist will either attempt to hoover their way back into your life or send flying monkeys to terrorize you. Narcissists need to be ADORED.They dont care who from, as long as theyre getting ATTENTION. Their new target often falls prey to the narcissists false promises. Why would your ex narcissist go out of his way to introduce his new supply to his family when he never introduced you to any of his family? When your whole world is focussed on the narc, youre nervous system is fried as you walk on eggshells, trying not to set them off. The second reason that narcissists like to put others down and make them feel inadequate reminds us of a very important truth that we must accept if we are to learn how to manage narcissistic abuse. Advertisementsif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Narcissistic supply, which is the attention given to a narcissist, is how the narc siphons life force energy from other souls. The Narcissist Gay and New Supplys relationship began to break down in the early stages. But ultimately, we are always looking to replace the old, used item with a new and exciting one. They care little about who they hurt in the process. I remember when he started flaunting me all over his social during dating. Make clear to your friends that you do not want them to know his name or what he is up to. They will Lovebomb, Devalue, Discard, and Hoover you for weeks, months, and years. I remember towards the last 3 months, I was told how I was not trying hard enough, how I was cheating on him supposedly, how I didnt give him enough attention, how he didnt feel like a priorty, we did not have enough sex, how I hung out with my friends too much, and how I had to block every single man in my life the list went on. through that same cycle. This is how they get supply and once you stop, they will let you know about it. 3. I will honestly say that I feel he will do the same thing to his new girlfriend.. and to the next one.. and to the next one. narcissists are frequently observed displaying their newly acquired supply to others in order to conceal their new supply from others. free email newsletter service that includes a free guided recovery experience via your inbox, here with our free narcissistic abuse recovery support system and program, C-PTSD, but youre not sure? I have mentioned before in past blogs that narcissists need attention in order to survive. They want a reaction. You cannot allow them to contact you ever, ever again. I admit, it stung like hell. When narcissists choose to source their next supply of power from someone less intelligent and beautiful, they can frequently miss out on the seemingly perfect supply. Despite the difficulty in identifying when a narcissist and their new supply are having issues, some symptoms of a narcissist exist. It will eventually happen when this idolizing and placing this person on a pedestal where they can do no wrong is too much for them. Share this post with someone who needs it! They want to be the one who appears to come out of the relationship unscathed. They cannot emotionally bond, so their love is strictly based on how much and how easily they can get supply. They become enraged with people who disagree with them. - All rights reserved. Your email address will not be published. However, when I started pouring my everything into building a career and making my own money, he constantly devalued me. Will the narcissist treat the new supply better? Youll have work to do to fix things.. Subscribe and get a special email series from Angie - packed with free gifts to help you heal and evolve! The extent of narcissism and abuse is a matter of interpretation. Dont get me wrong-I hate it for her. They never see themselves as the broken people that they are. Online help is readily available for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Why does a narcissist hide his new supply from old supply? The Narcissist is heavily invested in how he or she appears to others. I know you have a lot of questions and I am so happy to answer them because I am sure you have felt the pain, too. The love bombing stage felt nice. Know there are much better partners out there who will treat you with genuine love and respect-without wanting anything in return. The abuser is usually very charming and loving at first, but their true colors eventually come out and they start to withdraw their love and attention. Get private, one-on-one narcissistic abuse recovery coaching or counseling. As some of the most insecure and vulnerable individuals on the planet, theyre constantly scanning the environment for threats. This healing process can be started right away by taking advantage of my free 16-day deep inner healing course. Only when theyre able to extract narcissistic supply from those around them, do they find temporary relief from their empty, non-existing-ness. Unfortunately, the likelihood of the narcissist in your life living happily ever after with their new source of supply is very, very low. Maybe you were still in a relationship with them when they discarded you for somebody else. Is your ex flaunting a new relationship on social media? And as the narcissists cycle of abuse goes on, the next person becomes the new source of narcissistic supply. When someone with a narcissistic personality finds a new source of supply they have a lot of work to do but the part you should be aware of is how they disguise their true identity through a process called mirroring. First of all, this is in no way a reflection of your value. A narcissist will react to indifference from his supply by trying to create a reaction. If you start gardening, they will suddenty have an interest. Youre a mere shell of who you were before the narcissist came along and sucked you dry. Narcissists are unable to emotionally bond, leaving them without the ability to store genuine, loving feelings. However, if it becomes evident that youre too focussed on other things and not granting them your full attention at all times, theyll replace you for someone else who will give them what theyre demanding.Advertisementsif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_13',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-unmaskingthenarc_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); I can remember that as a stay at home mum, as my kids began to get a bit older, I started my own business because I was driven to be doing something other than house duties. My gut instincts told me that he was cheating on me. This means while he is cheating on you, hes already misleading and being dishonest to the new girl or boy aka supply. As a result, they want the best for both worlds. Well, in the place which used to house the narcissists True Self, now sits a big gaping void, much like a black hole. Attention for feeding the ego comes through: But of course, narcissists arent just going to get this much needed attention all by themselves. Some people might think that when, as survivors of narcissistic abuse, we call ourselves supply we are minimizing ourselves. Instead of wondering why the narcissist is so pleased with the new purchase, concentrate on educating yourself about narcissistic abuse. This is where the narcissist totally reveals who they truly are, with their acts of intentional cruelty which go directly against the words they spin to try and paint a beautiful picture of perfection. Once you turn inward and pour all of your energy and focus into healing yourself, youll stop caring about if the narcissists new supply is a downgrade or anything else that they are doing. But you must not worry about what your narc is doing or WHOM they are doing. Why do we call a person a narcissistic supply?, Isnt it insulting to call someone a supply?. And I am 100% confident that the person he dropped me like yesterdays trash for, will get the same as well as the person after that and so on. They want you to comment on all of their posts. The narcissist may seem happier in the new relationship, and there is a very simple reason for this. "My mom used to love dolling me up in cute dresses, even though I was a. This is why at this point, you will do just about anything for those scraps of attention. And just when you think the relationship is finally coming to an end (again), the narc throws you bits of love (again), giving you relief from the pain and reigniting your hope for the return of your soulmate (again). Todays episode of Thriver TV will explain what it is about. The narcissist has planted the seeds of a convincing and tantalizing screenplay in the new person's mind. The narcissist will keep on using people to boost their self-esteem, but tragically for everyone, the narcissist will end up being angry at them because external validation can never heal their wound. Hed bounce from, youre working too hard on your own business, to when are you going to actually start making some money. Nothing I did was ever good enough and I was just running faster and faster on the treadmill to still be fully present at home as well as build a business (he never helped with the kids or housework). If you are too busy with your own hobbies, work, kids, pets, friends anything other than the narcissist, they will manipulate you into handing more of yourself over to them. They risk being outshone by their partner, which they cannot stand. They believe that if a grandiose narcissist were to experience misfortune for an extended period of time they would begin to show the characteristics of a covert narcissist. The feeling was very harsh, but it was eye opening because I got to finally see him for what he was and that our relationship was a mockery, not real. Did the narcissists new source of supply break up my relationship? Required fields are marked *. All of the content that Unfilteredd creates is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care please visit here for qualified organizations and here for qualified professionals that you can reach out to for help. This guy not only lied, cheated, and stole my soul, but the effects from the trauma bond and steady emotioanl/physical abuse was something that had me unable to operate. They didnt convince the narc to change into the most gentle, loving, and considerate person. Skip the "What Ifs." This was later found to be called projection. The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network. If you notice any of these signs, you should terminate the relationship and take immediate action. I was over the moon that hed have someone else to focus on and would (hopefully) leave me alone. The narcissist just cannot risk having no supply on hand, so they will want you back while theyre busy seeking out someone else. The ego not only loves to win, but it must win in order to validate its own superiority. Here are a few suggestions on how you can stop the next supply. As Im sure many of you know, narcissists love to put other people down. Narcissism is on a spectrum. You can compare this to a leaky bucketrequiring constant refills with nothing of real substance to offer anyone else. For example, many researchers believe that grandiose narcissism and covert narcissism are interchangeable. We broke up around ten times in one year the cycle continued on-I began to take notice of every stage and could predict when the hoover or discard stages would take place. This basically means when I was no longer doing a good job at giving him enough attention to distract him from his emotional shortcomings, it was time to find someone else to fit the bill. The narcissists state of mind is influenced by their emotional state. They only see what the Narcissist wants them to see. The next day, he broke with me. That made him feel better, he said. Something will be said or done, which will cause a narcissistic injury and the narcissist will begin to devalue the new supply. According to SamVankin narcissists downgrades and I beleive that too..i have diagnosed mysepf as hpd..but I beleive not to be histrionic that all 6 of the girls my ex narc went after was not prettir than me at all..there bodies were like little pre teen boys..and wasnt a upgrade..they were definintly younger..im 28 he 21..his recent gf is baby cute because she was 17 and just turn 18..he is . But a narcissists relationship with his new supply might be short-lived, or it may last a while. Are you starting to see how the flaunting doesnt have much to do with this next victim as a person? How does trauma bondinghappen? All rights reserved. It will simply become irrelevant to you because they are not a part of your reality any more. Narcissists get a huge amount of supply by feeling powerful. [13 Facts] What Makes a Narcissist Panic Big Time?. The importance of educating yourself on narcissism, narcissistic personalities and narcissistic abuse is immeasurable. In other words, we are reminding ourselves that, as a narcissistic supply, we are used by the narcissist to get attention, validation, admiration all the supply they need to feed their ego. Even then, its important to understand that you can tolerate them until youre blue in the face, but its not going to guarantee that you are going to be the one the narcissist prefers because honestly, narcissists dont prefer anyone. Or, they may create illnesses and dramas to monopolise your time. Stay away from people if their actions do not match their words and instead let them go when they are able to do so. You name it, he tried it. Dealing with Criticism After a Toxic Relationship, Tips For Leaving An Abusive Relationship Safely, 40 Red-Flag Signs Your Relationship Might Be Toxic, When the Narcissist Moves On: Jealousy and the New Source of, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching Program: Clear the Slate. Then the next weekend, with his new fling. Honestly, whether your ex is a narcissist, psychopath, sociopath, or just a monumental jerk, parading their new relationship and/or flaunting how theyve been unfaithful to you shows their lack of integrity and low-quality character. As the narcissist continues to make you feel like youre not enough, youll be working harder and harder at trying to stack up to their forever changing expectations. Here are some tips on how to react when a narcissist flaunts their new supply: 1. Listen, its virtually impossible for a mentally and emotionally whole person to feel genuine love, adoration, affection, and deep bond with one personthen instantly feel those same exact things for someone else especially within 3 days. The old supply, on the other hand, is commonly regarded as a deterrent to cheating. I was not allowed to have any male friends or contacts. [ COPYRIGHT 2023 - UNMASKING THE NARC - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ] Chic Lite | Developed By. 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